Ever think of something perfect to say just seconds after hanging up the phone? It just happened to me now, and for once the line I thought up wasn't some witticism or profound-sounding phrase. It was a little more important.

To you, who I spoke to, whether you read this or not, what I relaized was this; for the longest time, I could talk to you for hours about absoloutely nothing, something utterly deviod of meaning, and love every second of it. Just now we spoke and neither of us had anything to say, and I just had this cold feeling in my stomach.

I've lost something, on several levels. Something important, and I don't think I can ever get any of it back. I have no doubt that it was my fault. I know that the situation I put you in was unfair, and for that I'm sorry, but I can't help the way I am.

Maybe that's a bit of a comforting thought; that given the way we are and the situations we were in, that it couldn't have gone any other way. Helps me a little, anyway. Once you've read this (if you ever read it), please don't give any of this a second thought. I'll be fine after a while, just a little emo for a while.

Whatever. Not like I was exactly a playboy before.
By the way, If anybody happens to give half a shit, please don't leave comments, I'm just venting. If you really think you need to say something, then note me; I'd prefer the privacy.